This may only apply to life time Southern California residents, but as I was walking around and waiting in line at Disneyland and its spin off park, California Adventure last night, I realized something. Perhaps inspired by overhearing somebody ask for Lion King stuff during my search for Up figurines but I realized there’s a Disneyland circle of life. You start as a child going with you parents, either in a stroll or clogging up walkways as you tug on your parents’ pants legs begging and demanding every technicolor piece of sugar within hand’s reach, but you’re just relegated to the rides of Fantasyland and Toon Town. Then you move onto the next phase; the phase when you’re embarrassed to be around your parents and you run around the park with reckless (within reason) abandon with your friends. After that there’s the couples phase and you have to assume after a while, the couples phase turns into a parents phase where you’re the one with children strapped to your shoulders and you’re struggling with the strollers.

Yet, I’m not sure if it’s actually possible to move into that last phase where the circle is complete. My feet are still sore. My legs are sore and I went in the late hours of the afternoon. I went when things were dying down and I’m still sore. I’m not jumping out to have children any time, but I don’t know if I can be that cool dad. The cool dad who puts his kid on his shoulder because the kid is too tired to walk. My legs began to give away about ten minutes into waiting for my second ride. I’m not sure if I’ll ever be able to muster up the strength to carry a child on my shoulders because their feet are too tired.

The next time I go to a theme park, I’ll probably get one of those motorized scooters and just zip around the place. I want to wait in line for a ride in my motorized scooter and I want to honk a weak horn when the line refuses to move and the rest of my family will ride motorized scooters and giant camelbacks full of soda.

Then again, I don’t even know if I can ride roller coasters anymore. There was a period when riding a roller coaster was enjoyable, but now, it’s just a punishment. A punishment that can be fun after the fact.