I would like to apologize to the people on the other side of the communal table if I offended you on Tuesday night. I didn’t mean to talk so loudly about the cool dogs of Instragram (hotpotato & huxxi are the coolest of the cool) and boldly make my Oscar predictions (The Artist, Brad Pitt, Viola Davis, Christopher Plummer, Melissa McCarthy, Martin Scorsese) and lastly, I’m sorry for devouring my dinner in such a ravenous manner. I was very hungry. 

I didn’t necessarily feel like I was doing anything offensive or generally awful, but I just felt like I ruined your girls’ night out. I’m sorry for that, but that’s the problem with communal tables. It’s a great idea because the restaurant can serve more people and people don’t have to think ahead and make a reservation in a week or two in advance. It’s a win-win situation. Yet at the same time, it’s a bad idea. Or at least, from my perspective, because there could be clash of intentions. One side of the table’s intentions was to have a nice, causal meal while the other side, my side, was to eat something before seeing The Grey.

Just imagine what it would’ve been like if we had shared that table after seeing The Grey? I would’ve added, “Guys,” before everything I said.