Skeet On Mischa
Silly Questions For Smart People - Molly McAleer

In this week’s installment of Silly Questions for Smart People, we talk to one of our favorite people on the entire planet, Molly McAleer about the magic of her husband, pizza parties, and second date etiquette. You can read more about Ms. McAleer at Molls…She Wrote.

The book I’m reading:

“No One Else Belongs Here More Than You” by Miranda July. Hyde lent it to me about a month ago and I keep picking it up and putting it down. It’s really good, but I like to read as much as I can in one sitting and not being able to do that is annoying.

Total number of books I own:

Hundreds. Probably 300-something, but most are back home in Boston.

Of all the people in your life, who should write a book?

Wagandstuff. I have a feeling he has a really unique perspective.

Do you have a dream journal or does the dream catcher above your bed keep all the good ones?

No. When I remember dreams, I usually blog them. I heard somewhere you can only really dream when you’re REMing and you can’t REM when you smoke pot, so ya know… there go my dreams.

Last film I saw:

Choke. I started The Amazing Truth About Queen Raquela, but we had to leave the theater because everything got really awkward. It’s a long story, so let’s just say Choke.

Three films that mean a lot to me:

Chung King Express by Wong Kar Wai.

True Romance is also super epic. When you’re breaking up with some dude it’s because he didn’t love you as much as Clarence loved Alabama, ya know?

My Flesh and Blood, too. It’s an HBO documentary that really affected me.

Who do you look to for inspiration:

Homeless people, my friends, my family. It’s everywhere. I just like listening to people talk.

If you could, could you go a day without smoking?

Cigarettes? Probably if there was a big incentive, but I don’t see why I would. I clearly don’t value my own life that much.

Song currently playing on your iTunes/iPod:

Currently? “I Can Tell You Want To Fuck” by the 504 Boys, but lately “Put a Ring on It” by Beyonce or “Nightshift” by the Commodores.

Three songs that mean a lot to me:

1) “Juicy” - Notorious B.I.G.

2) “Suite Judy Blue Eyes “- Crosby Stills Nash and Young

3) “The Boys on the Docks” - The Dropkick Murphys

The concert that changed my life:

The Bloodhound Gang at Avalon in Boston on Landsdowne. Best stage show I have ever seen, ever. I can’t stress it enough.

When is the right time for a pizza party?

Every time you’re awake is the right time.

Why is Edward, your husband so magical?

Because Ed is spiritually a puppy in a lot of ways. He’s always learning things about himself and makes a conscious effort to be as loving and trusting with everyone as possible. He gives everyone his all. No one ever forgets him. I always say he’s that kid you went to high school with who you’ll find yourself thinking about when you’re in line at the bank 40 years after graduation even though you were never actually friends. He just leaves an imprint on everyone who meets him that lasts forever, and that’s a rare quality.

What’s the biggest misconception that people have about you:

That I don’t give a shit or that I think I’m really great. I mean, I’m forgiving of myself and expect my own failure from time to time, so in that sense I’m accepting of myself. And I do care about everything. Way too much, probably. It’s probably a defense mechanism, but I don’t even have health insurance to pay for the therapy I probably need, so I just stick everything in the “Whatever” file and assume I’ll figure it out later.

Was it hard to lose your Massachusetts/Boston accent?

I never really had one, but “wicked” was a hard one. “Wicked” was my colloquial heroin.

How did you come up with the name, Wagandstuff?

I have to credit it to a dude I used to hang out with. Wags didn’t have a name for about a week and one morning the dude said “Hey, you little Wagandstuff” and I said “Yeah, that’s gotta be his name.” Homeboy was this close to being named Flapjack.

Favorite “View” cast member and why:

Joy Behar - Bitch holds it down.

Favorite Kennedy other than Cory:

Bobby. I live not too far from where the Ambassador used to be and I find myself thinking of him a lot.

West Beverly High Class of 1993 or West Beverly High Class of 2011:

2011 is a joke. 1993 4-eva.

Forever 21 or Urban Outfitters:

Technically neither. I think they are both rip-offs because your clothes are either going to fall apart or be extremely over-priced for what they are. I usually shop at my mom’s store twice a year and she sends me packages of clothes each season. If I have to pick, I’d go with Forever 21 because it’s super cheap and I have a couple sundresses from there that have lasted me years.

Beyonce or Girl Talk:

Girl Talk. I like a couple of Beyonce’s songs and I’m drawn to the imagery she’s associated with (complete and utter flyness), but I don’t care for Destiny’s Child and I can’t listen to her talk. Hearing Beyonce speak is disheartening. She only has about five songs I actually like, but the ones I like I really really like.

TLC or En Vogue:

TLC. I asked for my first pair of silk pajamas the Christmas after the “Creep” video came out and once hung up the phone on my mother in 5th grade to watch them perform on “All That”.

Bananas or Nuts:

Bananas. I’ve just always loved that word. It SOUNDS crazy, ya know?

Anne Hathaway or Annie Hall:

Annie Hall! C’mon now!

Taco Tuesday or Thirsty Thursday:

Taco Tuesday, ‘cause they have tacos AND booze.

How would you describe your relationship with your Coffee Bean and its employees?

Awkward, honestly. I know them too well, they know me too well. They see me turn the corner and they’re already making my iced coffee with an extra shot and lots of room for 2%. I’m probably baby-sitting one dude’s cat over Christmas. It’s just a lot. We know each other far too well, but I get attached to people.

What was it like starring in the movie Jerry Maguire?

Pretty awesome.

Who was your celebrity crush as a child/teen?

Michael J. Fox until I was about 12 and then (OMG) Taylor Hanson for like a minute and then Matt Damon and Travis Barker all through 8th grade through college. When I love a man, I really love him.

Do you have a dream project?

I want to host Saturday Night Live someday, but I also hope that I can make enough money to take a few years off and then come back and make documentaries.

What are the upsides and the downsides of the internet?

Upsides: Knowledge. Downsides: The decline of humankind due to the rampant abuse/misuse of its powers.

What’s your hangover remedy?

A warm can of Coke and miso soup.

It’s our second date and I like you, where should I take you?

Well, it doesn’t really matter. I can tell you what I don’t like: I don’t like expectations. I don’t want to go to someplace where I’m expected to have some sort of reaction. Like, don’t plan anything that I have to like, freak out about. That’s two-year relationship stuff. If it’s our second date, I don’t need someone doing something totally bananas that I have to fall apart over because I’m probably nervous and trying to keep my cool and will have a hard time giving you the reaction that you want. “Be yourself”. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It’s 2008. Who even is yourself? Let’s just go to the bar, have some drinks and maybe tell some secrets.

Would you rather sit at home all day pulling clips from talk shows or would you rather do stand up comedy again?

I mean… When you put it that way. Stand-up is something I don’t really claim to have a relationship with, but I could easily get up again if I had to. I feel like in some ways I do stand up every day with my videos, but it’s all pretty organic so it doesn’t really count. If I could do every show on the east coast then I’d still be doing stand-up. Clip pulling for Defamer… man, that was rough some days but it was never a bad job. I guess I’d take them both over the third option of being poor and unfulfilled. How about that?

Name five other people you would like to see answer this survey:

Because I already know you’ve asked Alexis Hyde:

1) Mel Cowan

2) Edward Hansen

3) Eric Spiegelman

4) Anna Nicole Smith (RIP)

5) Frangry

Who left the cake out in the rain?

Probably someone who has a case of the Inconsiderate Jerks.

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